Category: 2015

I feel very passionately about the subject of today’s post. It is a human aspect that I have been more or less aware of throughout my life, but never more so than in the past fifteen years. There are young men and women who are aware of it, and there are some men and women my age who have no idea what it’s all about! So, here goes . . .

. . . When people you haven’t seen in a long time – perhaps ten, fifteen, twenty, or more years – say:

“Oh, it’s so nice to see you! You haven’t changed at all!”

Really? That’s not quite true, is it? They probably do mean it as a compliment; however, it isn’t the truth, for, of course we change as time goes by! So when people tell me that I haven’t changed, I smile, but in my head I’m saying: I hope that’s not true!

The biggest compliment I have ever received in this regard was from a good friend whom I had not seen in about fifteen years, and who after a long visit, looked at me and said:

“I love what you have Become.”

Become!

Many people Become. Many others remain where they have always been ever since they turned into young adults. They do not change; not their outlooks, not their beliefs; not any of their isms; hardly even their generation’s traditional looks or styles. How do they do that, I have often wondered? Have they not had any experiences; ups; downs; setbacks; been through any upheavals on a personal, societal or political basis? Have they not fallen in and out of love? Have they never been touched by any of life’s events? How can one remain so isolated; so intact; so insulated?

Become!

It is what life wants to teach us, if we are open to learning.

Become.

It is how our experiences shape us, if we open the space for them to do so.

Become?

It is what is minimally expected of us, if we partake in Living and not merely in Existing!

Many years ago, I loved and accepted the reality that I am a flawed human being. I was also very aware of the fact that this Me is like an unfinished sculpture that needed a master’s honest hand to chisel it and to smooth out its many rough edges. I began working on that while continuing to do all else that I was doing – and “all else” was juggling a lot! In other words, I did not put everything on hold until I Became for this is an on-going mission. The chiseling and smoothing I am making along the way, and every day, give me an incredible sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. What a delightful project that is, and what a long way it has brought me from where I was as an awkward, over-sensitive, over-serious, introverted, ignorant, naïve, terribly insecure teenager ( and even young adult!) to what I am today!

Sometimes we can be fast learners, at others slower than a snail. At times we might catch on quickly, at others we could be late bloomers. But, eventually, we must Become that Finer, Truer version of ourselves; not a Perfect one, for that is too tall an order for anyone to attain!

A few of my friends have Become. I guess, at this age, we all realize: what the hell?! There’s not much left of our journey so we might as well! And, sadly, I see many who are in my daughter’s age group who are still reluctant and hesitant about emerging from their traditional and familiar cocoons!

I remember when I delivered my son after having two girls. Everyone began calling my husband: Abu Marwan. He strutted around like a peacock! I, on the other hand, bristled when the first person called me Imm Marwan.

“I am Imm Rana,” I said defiantly, “she is my first-born!”

My sister-in-law, knowing how I felt about such matters, said: “And are you now going to change thousands of years of history?”

“We have to start somewhere!” I responded.

Needless to say, I never succeeded in my task! However, that’s when I began screening all my past experiences, thoughts and beliefs and implementing them universally: feminism, honesty, integrity, equality, justice, democratization and all the values that I held dear. If I really believed in equality, for instance, then it must apply to all people and everywhere: to the maids, the laborers, the rich, the poor, the young and the old, my friends and my enemies. Otherwise, I thought to myself, it would be just empty talk, and isn’t there enough of that already in our world? Applying equality in my environment was controversial, to say the least, and it took many years before I was satisfied that I had attained that premise. However, that was the path I had chosen to follow in order to Become that Finer version of myself that I wanted to be. Therefore to Become we have to dare shed those traditions, beliefs and cultural walls surrounding us and step out and away from them to explore what other viewpoints and ideas exist out there in the world and adopt some of the more enlightened thoughts, and, sometimes, totally changing our judgments and what we had always believed was “right” is a huge undertaking and one that requires courage, conviction and confidence in one’s self. We cannot say, for instance: I am a compassionate person, but when discussing homosexuals say: Not that! See, it doesn’t work that way. Compassion, as all values, is either across the board, or not at all! It’s as simple as that! Our “feelings” about such matters though, are not that black and white and we are entitled to our feelings about any issue. It may even be a Personal, Religious or Ideological Belief. Thus, we might like or dislike, approve or disapprove of homosexuals, atheists, or “tree-huggers.” That is our feeling. However, we cannot pretend to be compassionate human beings when we do not apply compassion, justice, equality and all other values on All without Any exclusion whatsoever.

My favorite case in point: Maysoon Zayid is a Palestinian actress/comedienne/humanist who has Cerebral Palsy (CP). However, what comes across when you see her performing is a beautiful woman – she is very attractive, but her beauty is more a radiation from deep within her – who is confident, aware, knowledgeable, committed and professional. She is a perfect example of how a person can Become for she knows exactly what she is and what she isn’t, and has accepted her condition and then taken it where very few dare to go with it, emerging as a glowing and inspiring human being. Absolutely incredible! Had Maysoon lacked the confidence, courage and conviction to go where others feared to, she would have never Become the exceptional person that she is.

That does not happen just because we wish or want it to. Nothing ever does! It only happens when we honestly open ourselves up to life, when we assess why it is that we feel or think the way that we do, how our experiences and dramas might give us a different perspective and how they can subsequently shape our true identity.

The confidence to change, to discard ideas that do not work anymore, to adapt to life’s changing landscape is a gift that many choose not to avail themselves of. Instead, they are constantly ruing the past and the “traditional” way of thinking and doing what they grew up with rather than be excited and enthusiastic about how our world, in so many aspects, is definitely changing for the better, and how we, too, can do that no matter what our age, circumstances, traditions, religion or where we happen to reside.

We allow ourselves to Become the best selves that we have the potential for becoming by exulting in every stage and phase that enters into our lives; by being curious, adventurous, excited about learning something new; daring to go down the untraditional path in order to learn about it and about ourselves and, yes, at times we might exhibit all the angst available and question, as I often did and still occasionally do: What is life all about? Why did that person die so young? Why do I believe this or that about any life issues? Why am I so depressed? Why did this person wrong me? Why did I fail in this endeavor that I poured all myself into? Why do wars keep happening? Why is corruption so prevalent? Why are politics so convoluted? Good questions when they prompt us to do something tangible about them, because if we just accept without asking, doubting, wondering and doing then we will never Become. And, if we never Become then we have not really Lived. We have merely Existed. That is such a terrible, terrible waste of a lifetime!

Aristotle, John Locke and other philosophers spoke of the Tabula Rasa, or Clean Slate. I find that to be such an apt definition for the United States.

This country, founded less than five hundred years ago, by European colonists who flocked to its shores, was a Tabula Rasa. And not until the Founding Fathers framed the Constitution did it have a clear structure through which to define itself and to begin writing its story.

Nonetheless, it was not only the land itself that the colonists viewed as a Tabula Rasa for they, themselves, became a Clean Slate and commenced to establish newer versions of Christianity, different traditions, rites, outlooks, social norms and all else that, over time, gave them a new character that was unlike that of the societies they originally came from and, in fact, was sometimes at odds with the ethos of those societies.

I think this is what gave America of those past eras its greatest strength, as well as built-in its utmost weakness. The strength of this nation lies in its incredible innovations and inventions; its derring-do spirit and sense of adventure; its optimistic and youthful outlook; in a sense of entitlement that it can, and will, be successful, and in the exuberant feeling of freedom from political, religious and societal constraints. However, and over time, this confidence and sense of entitlement transformed itself and became a domestic and international arrogant bully run by a corrupt political class swaggering its way from dictating the rules in our private bedrooms on to ordering the world what it will, and will not, be allowed to do and, hence, that built-in weakness. The result of that weakness, decades in the making, has been slowly and surely distressing this nation and the world.

While America and Europe were colonizing, modernizing, innovating and moving into the Industrial Age, most of the rest of the world was still in the Agricultural Age. And while the Western World was establishing the nuclear family structures, the rest of the world was conducting its affairs along the tribal structures that had served them well for centuries. These two different societal systems were bound to be at odds with one another. The Middle East has at least 5000 years of history. It is not a Tabula Rasa, neither is its long memory. The West, and America especially, does not understand how the intricate system of family relationships and ties based on the tribal ethic operates. Thus, even when they learn Arabic, let’s say, and think that they can now understand the Arab people and navigate their politics, they really don’t. For the language is just one small aspect of a culture; it does not encompass the entire gamut of a civilization, its intricacies, nuances, customs, history, achievements, frustrations, angers and structures.

Because of that, as well as other reasons (the threat of Communism and the need for oil, as two examples), we have created disasters in the Middle East that have been largely responsible for unleashing the mess that we now see playing itself out so horrendously . . . and now all of the European Capitals and Washington DC are scrambling to find a way of undoing some of that damage. They are organizing seminars, conferences, summits and meetings; experts are being consulted; programs are being designed; committees are being established to devise methods for combating terrorism and radical ideologies that had been simmering under the radar since the sixties especially, but that have now mushroomed.

While the US was “starting over” when it was being founded, the Middle East was continuing on its traditional path; managing its tribal connections that had sustained it for centuries; coping as best as it could with ruthless colonialism; hoping to emerge from that supercilious and cruel occupation of its lands and resources; looking forward to an era of independence and prosperity; and of, once again, sharing its historical and tremendous contributions to civilization, learning, astronomy, physics, mathematics, art and literature with the world.

It was not allowed to do that. Not for one day. As colonialism withdrew its armies, it left behind savage and more merciless watchdogs: Israel; constant meddling, clandestine operatives and conspiracies; as well as puppet regimes to do the West’s’ bidding. Thus, to say that the occupying armies of France and Britain withdrew from the Middle East and granted Independence to those countries is hardly the truth. Promising political movements were crushed. Assassinations of capable political leaders were authorized. The region was left open for corrupt (it didn’t matter as long as they professed to be pro West) politicians, drug and arms peddlers, war lords and gangsters.

So I was open-mouthed when I heard President Obama saying during the latest Summit on Terrorism that the Middle East cannot continue to blame the West for its problems. Seriously? Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia and on and on passing through the entire region are Not due to our constant, meddling, orchestrating, warring and decimating? Israel has nothing to do with all this? Poof! All gone? In one sentence of a speech? Do the Western powers have collective amnesia when it comes to their destructive foreign policies?

Does all that absolve the region of assuming any responsibility in what has become of it? Of course not! There certainly are many problems, and one of the many ailing the Middle East is the humongous brain drain in the region. Due to all the turmoil, many intellectuals, thinkers, professionals and educated middle class nationalists whose presence could have continued to contribute to civilizing and democratizing the region fled. That responsibility is on us, the silenced, educated, professional class and on the guilty fact that we abandoned our compatriots in droves for the safe havens of the world. We put our comforts and safety ahead of our nations. How do we repatriate those citizens and how do we encourage a new, independent, free-thinking intellectual class, opportunities, as well as cultural and social channels to emerge and serve as a stabilizing force that can draw in the disenfranchised, despairing youth? Could this maybe be another one of the solutions? This is long-term planning, of course, some of which was presented at the seminars and summits put together by European and American politicians. These plans though, should have been happening at least since our disastrous invasions after 9/11.

Moreover, we ask ourselves, for instance, why three young British girls (and many other youngsters) would pack up and go to Syria to join ISIS. My answer is that today’s youth all over the world whether they join gangs in their home countries, or link themselves with other fringe groups and organizations, are merely doing so for lack of a “cause” that fires their imaginations and channels their wanderlust. They are not all bad elements. They are simply misguided, directionless youth; many of them feel neglected on their home fronts and unchallenged by their educational systems; drawn to the fantasy images of swashbuckling movie and TV characters and heroes of gaming videos; some are idealists. How do we engage them positively in the world around them; a world where they have no trust in political leaders, in religious institutions, in any civilized – and civilizing – structures? After all, we, the adults, have seen to the systematic destruction of most of these civilized structures on our planet as our politicians became more and more avaricious and corrupt and as economic disparities grew and, all our institutions were bared of their fig leaves exposing endemic dishonesty and hypocrisy. That prevalent rot of the leadership echelons at the top, which has greatly contributed to the disillusionment that is seeping and increasing throughout our societies, must be weeded out and replaced if we want to inspire the young with hope whether they are on the streets of America, Europe or the Middle East – and the sooner the better!

Does that mean nothing can be done immediately? Just leave it all to the radicals and terrorists to rampage, kill and burn their way through the region? Of course not!

Political maven, I am not. Military strategist, I am not either. So, no, I don’t have any answers. I simply hope that those doing the planning and strategizing will keep in mind the history that has brought us up to this point. Are they ready for that onus; to shed their deceit, their arrogance and corruption; to stop the interventions; to demand that the Israeli government cease and desist from its despicable, dangerous and vile policies in the entire region; to honestly reevaluate their defunct modus operandi?

It is a daunting project, to put it mildly. It is, though, doable if there is a genuine intent to do it.

IF!