I am having a very, very hard time writing my essay for this post. This feeling has surprised me because writing comes easily to me . . . usually, that is.
What do I write about with the images of Gaza glaring so sorrowfully, so savagely at me? Is there anything left to be said? Are there any more words to say; any more feelings to convey? They have all been said, expressed, written and shouted out, after all. Should I maybe just re-say them? Perhaps by repeating the atrocity of it all this will somehow assuage the wounds, ameliorate the horror, and lessen the wickedness? No. It won’t. It really won’t!
My heart is as heavy as the hearts of so many people across the world witnessing Gaza, the entire Middle East and the Planet. My helpless feelings are merely an echo of those of millions all over the world who are feeling as desolate, as forsaken as all of us Palestinians are.
In newspaper articles, on blogs and websites, on social media sites, on radio and on television the horror that we have read and seen has touched us all. Even commiserating with each other is not easing the despair, that gnawing, incessant pain!
I tell myself as I toss and turn, sleepless, thoughts rushing this way and that through my brains constantly, unable to run away from them try as I might, that the power that brutal, arrogant nations and political leaders exhibit is quite mind-boggling. It serves the powerful during their lifetime, maybe a few more generations after them but, one day, it will collapse upon itself. History has taught us that lesson time and time again! How many more thousands of years do we need to learn that? How much more blood-letting and occupations, imperialism and despotism do we need? How many more Gazas, Afghanistans, Iraqs, Syrias, Somalias, Congos, Libyas, Egypts, Ukraines, Nigerias, Sudans and on . . . and on . . . and on . . . and spreading further and wider yet! Where is the leadership that we are all yearning for?
Have the gods of Sanity, Reason and Justice abandoned us all so totally? Is the world really in this abysmal Free Fall?
The answer I give to myself is that yes, it most certainly is.
No amount of protests, no millions demonstrating all over the globe, no words left in any dictionary seem to be able to reverse this ignoble wave of sheer and naked terror surrounding us all.
The outpouring of support and grief for Gaza is just a symptom of the underlying malaise that we, ordinary citizens of earth, have been feeling for a long time now. Gaza is the fuse, the indirect argument that prompted people across the world to express their feelings of abandonment and loss, of insecurity and anger over so many issues and events about which we can all sense our utter helplessness and despair.
Climate change; wealth disparities; wars based on lies and deceit; unmatched hypocrisy of the rulers; utter spinelessness of world leaders; a sex trade that gets its thrills from nine and ten year olds; rape gone amok; unrestrained and unlawful police activity; renegade multinational corporations wreaking havoc across the globe; greed unleashed and unabashed; abandoned sense of responsibility; unconscionable and unfettered governing bodies that have allowed their personal interests to rule over the good of the people; fire power in the hands of legitimate armies that are committing illegitimate acts (like the IDF); guns and grenades in the hands of gangsters (like Boko Haram and ISIS); a world where lawlessness has become commonplace and where the law has been twisted and mangled so often and so much that it has become undecipherable.
I do not know how or when we are going to extricate ourselves from this morass. I do not even know if, at this stage, it is even possible.
Might it be that it could all end in that same place where once it all began?
All I can do is to keep hoping and to prevent myself from losing faith in the power of humanity to insist and demand that we change the treacherous course we are on.
Courage! Courage, I tell myself, for we are going to need loads of it in the very dark and unpredictable days ahead of us! Do not despair, I tell myself, for we can, we must, surmount the terrible predicament that we have allowed to happen to us!
Free Fall it is . . . at this moment in our history . . . difficult and trying . . . scary and avaricious . . . incredulous and ignoble . . . but not everlasting! No Free Fall is!
Courage! Courage, I tell myself wiping away the tears!